Next time you see your father, your uncle, or any older gentleman over age 60 or so, ask them about their prostate. If you know the guy well enough, and he feels comfortable enough around you (some would say too comfortable), he will surely share a whole litany of the common prostate problems that are troubling him, or have troubled him, or will trouble him in the near future. That's because an enlarged prostate, benign prostatic hypertrophy, and even prostate cancer can be in the cards for every man past a certain age.
It's the scary but true fact of getting old as a man. For instance, every man should know that prostate cancer is one of the most common prostate problems out there. It tops the list of cancers that afflict men, happening in nearly as many men, roughly speaking, as breast cancer in women. Prostate cancer doesn't get the press that breast cancer does, however, probably because most men would rather not speak about what's happening down there.
Second thing most men don't, but should, know is exactly what that prostate is. A prostate is actually part of a man's sexual organs. Located just below the bladder in a man, wrapped around the urethra, the prostate is about the size of a walnut. Its main job in the birds-and-bees scheme of things is to add fluid to your sperm during ejaculation.
And most of the time, men don't even realize they have a prostate because it's a hidden internal organ, but all men find out quickly what and where their prostate is when they suffer a common prostate problem.
For instance, all men should know that prostate issues aren't just for older men. Men under 50 can get prostatitis, or an extremely painful infection of their prostate. This is a swelling of the prostate that can cause fever, a burning sensation during urination, and fatigue.
And all men over 50 should be aware of their number one most common prostate problem, which is an enlarged prostate, or benign prostatic hypertrophy. This benign, or nonfatal condition, is actually far more common in older men than prostate cancer, which should give some relief to older men when they know it.
Men should all be aware of the symptoms of benign prostatic hypertrophy, such as leaking and dribbling during urination, a weak urine stream, trouble getting started with urination, and even small amounts of blood in the urine.
And though benign prostatic hypertrophy is more common than prostate cancer, men should be aware that the two can go hand in hand. It's not always the case, and many men with an enlarged prostate will never develop into cancer. But it's good to keep your eyes out for both, because they can have similar symptoms.
by: Anne Nickerson
Monday, September 1, 2008
What To Do When Your Sex Drive Disappears
It's important to keep on having sex: sex maintains good health, and it can definitely help to maintain your loving feelings towards your partner. But life presents many challenges - the demands of work, family, stress, financial pressure, physical health challenges, and so on. How can we keep ourselves sexually active in the face of so many conflicting pressures? (Later in this article we'll look at how to cope with a natural decrease in your sex drive as you get older.)
The first step is to maintain open and honest communication. For example, if one partner is feeling sexual and the other is not, then good communication can ensure that neither partner takes the situation personally; in other words, you don't need to interpret the fact that your partner's level of desire and arousal is lower than yours as a reflection of how attractive you are. Rather, you can use certain techniques to harmonize the relationship.
First, if your partner feels sexual and you don't, be careful how you respond to their advances. To some extent their self-esteem is bound to be related to how attractive they feel, and that in turn is likely to be related to how you respond to any sexual overtures they may make towards you. If you don't want sex, tell them so in a way which doesn't hurt them. We all take our sexual attractiveness to others as a sign of our self-worth. If you happen to be in bed, don't roll over and go to sleep. Offer them a cuddle, and turn towards them, so you can share feelings of love and affection, and touch and kiss them.
Second, consider whether you could have sex with them or not even if you think you don't feel like it. Sexual energy is within all of us and available to most of us with very little effort - and if you can summon it up in response to your partner's sexual advances it could become energizing and revitalizing for you.
Third, if your reluctance to have sex is based on disharmony in the relationship, then talk about what is going on, or get some professional counseling help. If your lack of desire is simply due to exhaustion or worry, then put an alternative time for sexual intimacy in your diary and stick to it.
Lastly, if you don't want to be sexual in the sense of enjoying intercourse, there are many alternatives for you to consider:
Make love with your hands or mouth
If you don't want intercourse, but your partner is looking for sex, then offering to masturbate them or give them oral sex may be a good alternative. This can be fun and enjoyable for you as well as your partner, and it certainly gives you a chance to see your partner's body in a way that you wouldn't during normal intercourse. However, it may still be too sexually charged for you, and you might therefore want to suggest to your partner that they try the next idea.
Self-pleasuring while lying in your arms
Yes, masturbation can be a fun thing for couples to share. In fact I believe it is much better if they do, because one partner very often feels excluded when they discover that their partner has been secretly masturbating. Men in particular may think nothing of a quick session of self-pleasure, but their female partners can be very upset and may feel very excluded if they learn that their partner has been masturbating without their knowledge. While men may not want to give up this source of self-pleasure, it's worth trying a new approach, because there's a whole new depth of pleasure to be gained from masturbating when you are in intimate contact with your partner. Very often the sight of a partner masturbating is sexually arousing for the other partner and will lead to them joining in. But whether this happens or not, such self-pleasuring in a supportive environment is an excellent way to bridge the gap between two partners whose sexual desire is unequal in strength and urgency.
There is always the alternative of masturbating by yourself. But if you do this, make sure that you are not doing it in a way that enhances feelings of shame or guilt about the activity! Self-pleasuring is a fun thing, and it's certainly a natural part of human sexuality!
Massage and touch
Another great alternative to sexual contact when you don't feel in the mood is massage. There are many ways to make this a rewarding experience; alternating light an heavy touches, using feathers or rabbit fur, using strokes of varying pressure and intensity, chopping, cupping and so on. Touching does not have to be a two-way exchange: one partner can touch the other for as long as they like with or without the expectation of the touch being returned. Here's a link to a great massage site, where you can find out some basic information on how to do it.
Touch alone is a great healer, and if you are too tired to make love or massage each other, then at least touch each other before you go to sleep. Touch can of course convey negative emotions as well as positive ones, so it's worth ensuring that you feel positive towards your partner before you do this!
There's an interesting fact about ageing which suggests that men and women become more sexually compatible - at least in terms of desire - as they get older. A man's testosterone level drops steadily from about twenty years of age, while a woman's increases. Testosterone is the hormone of sexual desire, so men and women may find that their sexual desire becomes more equal as time goes by. But sex alone is not enough to sustain a relationship: love and ever-increasing intimacy are the building blocks of a great relationship.
One of the main sexual changes for women in mid-life is that their level of desire often is much lower than it has been in the past. There's no easy answer to this, though maintaining intimacy and a desire for connection (which lies at the root of sexual intimacy) will go a long way towards maintaining sexual desire. Another common symptom of the post-menopausal years is a dry vagina - but there are plenty of lubricants on the market which can help out here.
For men in mid-life or later, sexual urgency and desire may decrease, but perhaps the most important change for them is that their erections become more elusive. Often direct physical stimulation is needed to get it up - a far cry from the days of youth when his erections popped up all over the place for no apparent reason at all!
As time goes by, a man's erection will also be less firm than it was in his younger days. What's more, he will, from time to time, find that his penis becomes soft during sex. This is so common as to be considered normal, though that may be no consolation to the man in question! Often his fear that he'll never have an erection again makes the whole situation worse. But you know what? It isn't a disaster. First, there's Viagra and its more recent counterparts, Levitra and Cialis. Second, it's possible to enter a woman's vagina with a soft cock, and then pump it erect inside her by using your PC muscles.
The way to do this is to circle the penis with finger and thumb, then push the blood into the shaft and head by running the circling fingers firmly along the shaft. A common variation of this technique is to use a rubber ring that fits around the base of the penis and keeps the blood inside the penis. Often a vacuum pump can be helpful in getting the penis erect in the first place. It's important not to get to hung up about having an erection, and to stop watching anxiously for it to arrive! In such a situation, a man's emotional focus needs to be external - he can think of something that arouses him, for example. One of the major benefits of ageing for a man is that his desire to ejaculate decreases markedly. He can naturally become a long lasting lover without any fear of premature ejaculation!
And it's important to remember that the loving connection and the joy of lovemaking are probably more important than having an ejaculation. What's more, most men over 50 will find that if they do not ejaculate they will be able to achieve an erection and have sex again much sooner than if they do.
A final thought: love is not based on the quantity of orgasms you have, but on the quality of the love that you experience in your relationship with your partner.
by: Rod Phillip
The first step is to maintain open and honest communication. For example, if one partner is feeling sexual and the other is not, then good communication can ensure that neither partner takes the situation personally; in other words, you don't need to interpret the fact that your partner's level of desire and arousal is lower than yours as a reflection of how attractive you are. Rather, you can use certain techniques to harmonize the relationship.
First, if your partner feels sexual and you don't, be careful how you respond to their advances. To some extent their self-esteem is bound to be related to how attractive they feel, and that in turn is likely to be related to how you respond to any sexual overtures they may make towards you. If you don't want sex, tell them so in a way which doesn't hurt them. We all take our sexual attractiveness to others as a sign of our self-worth. If you happen to be in bed, don't roll over and go to sleep. Offer them a cuddle, and turn towards them, so you can share feelings of love and affection, and touch and kiss them.
Second, consider whether you could have sex with them or not even if you think you don't feel like it. Sexual energy is within all of us and available to most of us with very little effort - and if you can summon it up in response to your partner's sexual advances it could become energizing and revitalizing for you.
Third, if your reluctance to have sex is based on disharmony in the relationship, then talk about what is going on, or get some professional counseling help. If your lack of desire is simply due to exhaustion or worry, then put an alternative time for sexual intimacy in your diary and stick to it.
Lastly, if you don't want to be sexual in the sense of enjoying intercourse, there are many alternatives for you to consider:
Make love with your hands or mouth
If you don't want intercourse, but your partner is looking for sex, then offering to masturbate them or give them oral sex may be a good alternative. This can be fun and enjoyable for you as well as your partner, and it certainly gives you a chance to see your partner's body in a way that you wouldn't during normal intercourse. However, it may still be too sexually charged for you, and you might therefore want to suggest to your partner that they try the next idea.
Self-pleasuring while lying in your arms
Yes, masturbation can be a fun thing for couples to share. In fact I believe it is much better if they do, because one partner very often feels excluded when they discover that their partner has been secretly masturbating. Men in particular may think nothing of a quick session of self-pleasure, but their female partners can be very upset and may feel very excluded if they learn that their partner has been masturbating without their knowledge. While men may not want to give up this source of self-pleasure, it's worth trying a new approach, because there's a whole new depth of pleasure to be gained from masturbating when you are in intimate contact with your partner. Very often the sight of a partner masturbating is sexually arousing for the other partner and will lead to them joining in. But whether this happens or not, such self-pleasuring in a supportive environment is an excellent way to bridge the gap between two partners whose sexual desire is unequal in strength and urgency.
There is always the alternative of masturbating by yourself. But if you do this, make sure that you are not doing it in a way that enhances feelings of shame or guilt about the activity! Self-pleasuring is a fun thing, and it's certainly a natural part of human sexuality!
Massage and touch
Another great alternative to sexual contact when you don't feel in the mood is massage. There are many ways to make this a rewarding experience; alternating light an heavy touches, using feathers or rabbit fur, using strokes of varying pressure and intensity, chopping, cupping and so on. Touching does not have to be a two-way exchange: one partner can touch the other for as long as they like with or without the expectation of the touch being returned. Here's a link to a great massage site, where you can find out some basic information on how to do it.
Touch alone is a great healer, and if you are too tired to make love or massage each other, then at least touch each other before you go to sleep. Touch can of course convey negative emotions as well as positive ones, so it's worth ensuring that you feel positive towards your partner before you do this!
There's an interesting fact about ageing which suggests that men and women become more sexually compatible - at least in terms of desire - as they get older. A man's testosterone level drops steadily from about twenty years of age, while a woman's increases. Testosterone is the hormone of sexual desire, so men and women may find that their sexual desire becomes more equal as time goes by. But sex alone is not enough to sustain a relationship: love and ever-increasing intimacy are the building blocks of a great relationship.
One of the main sexual changes for women in mid-life is that their level of desire often is much lower than it has been in the past. There's no easy answer to this, though maintaining intimacy and a desire for connection (which lies at the root of sexual intimacy) will go a long way towards maintaining sexual desire. Another common symptom of the post-menopausal years is a dry vagina - but there are plenty of lubricants on the market which can help out here.
For men in mid-life or later, sexual urgency and desire may decrease, but perhaps the most important change for them is that their erections become more elusive. Often direct physical stimulation is needed to get it up - a far cry from the days of youth when his erections popped up all over the place for no apparent reason at all!
As time goes by, a man's erection will also be less firm than it was in his younger days. What's more, he will, from time to time, find that his penis becomes soft during sex. This is so common as to be considered normal, though that may be no consolation to the man in question! Often his fear that he'll never have an erection again makes the whole situation worse. But you know what? It isn't a disaster. First, there's Viagra and its more recent counterparts, Levitra and Cialis. Second, it's possible to enter a woman's vagina with a soft cock, and then pump it erect inside her by using your PC muscles.
The way to do this is to circle the penis with finger and thumb, then push the blood into the shaft and head by running the circling fingers firmly along the shaft. A common variation of this technique is to use a rubber ring that fits around the base of the penis and keeps the blood inside the penis. Often a vacuum pump can be helpful in getting the penis erect in the first place. It's important not to get to hung up about having an erection, and to stop watching anxiously for it to arrive! In such a situation, a man's emotional focus needs to be external - he can think of something that arouses him, for example. One of the major benefits of ageing for a man is that his desire to ejaculate decreases markedly. He can naturally become a long lasting lover without any fear of premature ejaculation!
And it's important to remember that the loving connection and the joy of lovemaking are probably more important than having an ejaculation. What's more, most men over 50 will find that if they do not ejaculate they will be able to achieve an erection and have sex again much sooner than if they do.
A final thought: love is not based on the quantity of orgasms you have, but on the quality of the love that you experience in your relationship with your partner.
by: Rod Phillip
Senior sex: Tips for older men
Sex and the older man: What you can do to maintain a healthy and enjoyable sex life as you grow older.
Getting older changes sexual function and desire. Senior sex isn't the same as it was in your 20s — but it can still be satisfying. Contrary to common myths about sexuality and older adults, sex is not just for the young. Many seniors continue to enjoy their sexuality into their 80s and beyond.
A healthy sex life is not only fulfilling — but also good for other aspects of your life, including your physical health and self-esteem. Adapting to your changing body can help you maintain a healthy and satisfying sex life. But you may have to make a few changes, such as allowing yourself more time to become aroused and talking more openly with your partner.
Senior sex: What changes as men get older?
As men age, testosterone levels decline and changes in desire and sexual function are common. They include:
Decreased sexual interest
A need for more stimulation to achieve and maintain an erection and orgasm
Shorter orgasms
Less forceful ejaculation and less semen ejaculated
Longer time needed to achieve another erection after ejaculation
Your health also can have a big impact on your sex life and sexual performance. If you or your partner is in poor health or has a chronic health condition such as heart disease or arthritis, sex and intimacy become more challenging.
Certain surgeries and many medications such as blood pressure medications, antihistamines, antidepressants and acid-blocking drugs can affect sexual function. But just because you aren't as spry as you once were doesn't mean you can't enjoy a healthy sex life. You need to adapt to your changing body and know your limitations. Focus on ways of being sexual and intimate that work for you and your partner. Talk with your doctor about your concerns.
Tips to maintain a healthy sex life later in life:
Communicate with your partner.
Open discussion of sex has become much more common in the last 40 years, but many older adults come from a generation where sex remains a taboo subject. But openly talking about your needs, desires and concerns with your partner can make you closer and help you both enjoy sex and intimacy more.
Talk to your doctor.
Talking about sexual issues with your doctor can help you maintain a healthy sex life as you get older. Your doctor can help you manage chronic conditions and medications that affect your sex life. Many older men have trouble maintaining an erection or reaching orgasm. Your doctor may be able to prescribe medications or other treatments for these problems.
Expand your definition of sex.
Intercourse is only one way to have fulfilling sex. Touching, kissing and other intimate sexual contact may be just as rewarding for both you and your partner. Realize that as you age, it is normal for you and your partner to have different sexual abilities and needs. Be open to finding new ways to enjoy sexual contact and intimacy.
Change your routine.
Simple changes can improve your sex life. Change the time of day when you have sex to a time when you have the most energy. Try the morning — when you're refreshed from a good night's sleep — rather than at the end of a long day. Because it might take longer for you or your partner to become aroused, take more time to set the stage for romance, such as a romantic dinner or an evening of dancing. Try a new sexual position or explore other new ways of connecting romantically and sexually.
Seek a partner if you're single.
It is never too late for romance. It can be difficult starting a relationship after the loss of a spouse or being single for a long time — but socializing is well worth the effort for many single seniors. No one ever outgrows the need for emotional closeness and intimate love. If you start a relationship with a new partner, be sure to practice safe sex. Many older adults are unaware that they are still at risk of sexually transmitted diseases such as AIDS.
Stay healthy.
Eating regular nutritious meals, staying active, not drinking too much alcohol, and not smoking or using illegal drugs are important for your overall health — and it can help your sexual performance. Follow your doctor's instructions in taking medications and managing any chronic health conditions.
Stay positive.
The changes that come with aging — from health problems to changes in appearance and sexual performance — leave many men feeling less attractive or feeling they are less capable of enjoying or giving sexual pleasure. Discussing your feelings with your partner can help. Feeling angry, unhappy or depressed has a strong impact on your sex life. Professional counseling or other treatment can improve your sex life — and your well-being.
Sex may not be the same for you or your partner as it was when you were young. But by adapting to your changing body, sex and intimacy can continue to be a fulfilling and rewarding part of your life.
Viagra Side Effects
Viagra Side Effects: Should You Be Concerned?
So, you're considering trying Viagra as a treatment for erectile dysfunction or to enhance your sex life. But you've heard a thing or two about Viagra side effects and you're wondering if you should take it.
Caution when taking a new medication is wise, and a doctor should always be consulted. But many fears surrounding Viagra are unfounded.
The fact is that Viagra has been proven to work safely and effectively in 80% of men and is being used by over 23 million men worldwide. Viagra is the most studied and most popular prescription drug for erectile dysfunction.
For most men, there are either no side effects or the effects of Viagra are so minor they don't outweigh the benefits. Viagra can even be taken by men with serious health issues such as:
heart problems
high cholesterol
high blood pressure
diabetes
prostate problems
spinal injuries
Who Should Not Take Viagra
Men who should not take Viagra are those who have been warned by their doctor not to engage in sexual activity. Viagra side effects become a serious issue when Viagra is taken with nitrates, such as nitroglycerin for angina. The effects of Viagra combined with a nitrate can cause your blood pressure to plummet, leaving you dizzy, faint or even at risk of a heart attack or stroke.
Do not use Viagra if you take any form of nitroglycerin, isosorbide mononitrate or isosorbide dinitrate. Even recreational drugs like poppers should not be taken with Viagra. (Poppers are nitrite vapors usually inhaled for a quick high or for sexual enhancement.)
Common Viagra Side Effects
Most men only experience minor side effects of Viagra: headache, facial flushing, and upset stomach.
Even less common are the following Viagra side effects: bluish vision, blurred vision, or sensitivity to light, which may briefly occur and then subside.
There are several rare but serious side effects of Viagra: hypotension, myocardial infarction, heart arrhythmias, stroke, eye pressure, and priapism. They are the Viagra side effects that require urgent medical attention.
What is Priapism?
You may have heard about priapism, a rare Viagra side effect mentioned in TV commercials and other advertising. Priapism is an erection lasting more than four hours. It can be caused by either a physical disorder or by certain medications. Priapism is a possibility with all oral ED drugs but interestingly Viagra itself has rarely been implicated. Why and how priapism occurs is not fully understood.
What is understood is that any man experiencing priapism needs to seek emergency medical attention. Leaving it untreated can lead to impotence or more serious complications.
In summary, Viagra is generally well tolerated by the majority of men who take it. But before trying it, you should always get a doctor's opinion based upon your medical condition and a full assessment of the medications you are taking in order to prevent any negative Viagra side effects.
A doctor (whether your own family doctor or one of our consulting physicians at eDrugstore.md) is also your best source of advice on what dosage of Viagra is right for your individual situation. The brochure you receive with your prescription will tell you how to take the little blue pill so you get the most beneficial sexual effects of Viagra.
by: Antonio LeMaire
Cheating and Infidelity Statistics: Are Men Cheating More Than Women?
Recent studies reveal that 45-55% of married women and 50-60% of married men engage in extramarital sex at some time or another during their relationship. Do these infidelity statistics seem a bit startling? What these findings suggest is that approximately one half of all married men and women do seek intimacy outside of their committed relationships. But what does this really mean and why are the number of men and women having extramarital affairs so high?
This may come as a complete surprise, but most extramarital affairs are not about sex. What then,is the main factor that causes infidelity? One should pay attention to the reason most people find intimacy with someone outside of their marriage is because of their emotional needs are not being met. Yes, it is true in most cases of infidelity and about wanting to feel emotionally connected to someone.
One should realize that suggestions may not be particularly popular, especially among men and women who are on the receiving end of the infidelity. Obviously, finding out that your spouse or partner has cheated on you is shocking and painful. Realizing that you are just another number that adds to the infidelity statistic is not something you would like to flaunt.
The reality is that there are a lot of unsatisfying and empty relationships out there, but however, the reason why infidelity statistics are as high as they are is because people place a higher value on their careers, children, friends or hobbies and not on their relationships with their partners. Think about it, when you neglect any of these areas, it is just a matter of time before they deteriorate and ultimately lead to its untimely death. The failure in the relationship becomes imminent..The bottom line is that if you want to avoid becoming yet another case that adds to the infidelity statistic, then you must nurture and prioritize your relationship with your spouse or partner. As you may have already figured out, unlike planes, relationships cannot be maintained on "auto-pilot".
According to the current infidelity statistics 60% of men and 40% of women are involved in extramarital affair. These figures are even more drastic when the total numbers of marriages are considered. Because it is less likely that all the men and women having extramarital affairs do happen to be married to each other. At least half of the women having affairs are married to men are not included in the 60% of men having affairs, then at least one partner will have an affair in about 80% of all marriages. With this study you can see that many marriages are getting affected and it is unreasonable to think affairs are due to the failures and shortcomings of individual husbands or wives. Leave alone the entire world, only in U S, 17% of divorces are caused by unknown misconceptions such as infidelity. There exists even strong evidence, which proves that there is a high correlation between on-line infidelity and subsequent real-time sexual affairs.
by: Stephany Alexander
Dating For Seniors: Senior Singles Finding Love Online
For the senior single, negotiating through the minefields of the dating scene can be scary. This need not be, as dating for seniors can be as much fun as any other age group. Plus mature dating brings forth a richness borne of maturity that's largely lacking in the younger generation.
One big challenge faced by the older single is that of lack of avenues geared towards dating for seniors. Night clubs and singles bars are particularly designed with this age-group in mind.
Actually, lack of places to meet other seniors may not be problem. There are plenty of places for this. The problem is getting to meet compatible senior singles who are actively looking for a date.
The internet offers perhaps the best chance for the senior single to meet like-minded mature singles for the purpose of dating. There are services that are dedicated to dating for seniors, where younger people are not allowed. Depending on the service, you must be at least 40 or 50 years old to join. These services are very active and vibrant.
Providing a place for seniors to gather and communicate, they offer superb matching services and a dozen ways to connect. Group or individual chat forums, email relay and other now-standard tools make safe, anonymous communication easy. Until the point you choose not to have it remain anonymous!
The number of people who might be referred to as, "mature", "prime", "middle aged", "third agers", or senior citizens and who are dating online is booming. Career demands, early retirement, rising divorce rates, and longer life expectancy mean that more people than ever before are single in their later years.
This has created a growing pool of older singles on online: you can be a total beginner to online dating and go from no date to lots of dates in a very short time.
And, online dating is cheaper and brings quicker results than traditional ways of meeting people.
However there are pitfalls to look out for. Safety is on top of concerns for senior singles dating online. Scam artists, both foreign and domestic, have been known to prey on this age-group. The presumption, right or wrong, is that this age-group is desperate and vulnerable. Don't lose your heart as well as your money.
One way of protecting yourself from being scammed is by signing up with a reputable senior singles dating service.
You also need to be careful how you interact with others online. Avoid revealing personal information such as your real name, work place or home address until you're pretty sure that your date is for real. Even then take it slow - don't tell too much too soon.
by: David Kamau
One big challenge faced by the older single is that of lack of avenues geared towards dating for seniors. Night clubs and singles bars are particularly designed with this age-group in mind.
Actually, lack of places to meet other seniors may not be problem. There are plenty of places for this. The problem is getting to meet compatible senior singles who are actively looking for a date.
The internet offers perhaps the best chance for the senior single to meet like-minded mature singles for the purpose of dating. There are services that are dedicated to dating for seniors, where younger people are not allowed. Depending on the service, you must be at least 40 or 50 years old to join. These services are very active and vibrant.
Providing a place for seniors to gather and communicate, they offer superb matching services and a dozen ways to connect. Group or individual chat forums, email relay and other now-standard tools make safe, anonymous communication easy. Until the point you choose not to have it remain anonymous!
The number of people who might be referred to as, "mature", "prime", "middle aged", "third agers", or senior citizens and who are dating online is booming. Career demands, early retirement, rising divorce rates, and longer life expectancy mean that more people than ever before are single in their later years.
This has created a growing pool of older singles on online: you can be a total beginner to online dating and go from no date to lots of dates in a very short time.
And, online dating is cheaper and brings quicker results than traditional ways of meeting people.
However there are pitfalls to look out for. Safety is on top of concerns for senior singles dating online. Scam artists, both foreign and domestic, have been known to prey on this age-group. The presumption, right or wrong, is that this age-group is desperate and vulnerable. Don't lose your heart as well as your money.
One way of protecting yourself from being scammed is by signing up with a reputable senior singles dating service.
You also need to be careful how you interact with others online. Avoid revealing personal information such as your real name, work place or home address until you're pretty sure that your date is for real. Even then take it slow - don't tell too much too soon.
by: David Kamau
The Truth of Divorce
Emotionally than Men: Since ancient times, women have been described as being emotionally sensitive. Sociologists argue that this reason attributed to the subordination of women in ancient society. Women were supposed to be immature and ill-equipped to handle responsibilities. This feature was prominent in patriarchal societies.
The woman was touted as being weak cognitively, emotionally and physically. She was always supposed to be protected by the male. In the beginning, it was her father, then her husband and in later years her son. She could not live and shoulder duties herself. But this view is baseless. Modern sociologists shatter this myth. They argue that both the genders have equal proportions of emotionality.
Women are not the weaker gender in an emotional capacity. In fact, they are resilient. They have the emotional reserves to withstand betrayal and shock. Men are not as resilient as women. They also tend to suffer an emotional setback. They find it harder to accept that the spouse has left them.
Sociologists state that men have to nurture and build their emotional strength. Women are born with this emotional strength. Studies show that men and women suffer mentally and emotionally from divorce. Their behavioural methods of reaction may be different.
Men may become more withdrawn. They tend to become loners undergoing traumatic phases of depression. Women, in contrast, tend to reach out. Emotional battering makes them extrovert in nature. They tend to develop and widen their social circle. They draw their emotional strength from this support group.
Both genders are likely to fall prey to alcohol and substance abuse. A major difference is that women are able to accept their deep emotional scarring. They usually seek professional intervention. Men do not. Men live in denial. They pretend that the divorce has had no effect on them.
Family forces men into therapy usually. Marriage counsellors state that an average of 54% of women and men divorcers suffer from the same emotional setbacks. There is no concrete evidence to prove this myth true.
Ex-spouses are Always Hostile towards Each Other: Social psychologists argue that divorce cannot be pleasant. Usually, 89% of divorces are settled at an acrimonious level. The ex-spouses begin post-divorce life wrought with bitterness. They cannot stand each other. They tend to harm each other in a direct or indirect manner.
Sociologists insist that the type of divorce determines the level of hostility. Hostility does not exist in cases of uncontested divorces. Here, both spouses want the divorce and agree mutually to every marital issue. The divorce is uncontested and amicable.
On the other hand, contested divorces are bitter. The respondent is drawn into the divorce. Usually, contested divorces involve a bitter and hostile trial hearing. The Family Solicitors of London state that this happens as spouses disagree on the level of importance accorded to the marriage. But this acrimony is short-lived.
It usually lasts for a period of eight months to a year. It is situation and location-specific. The presence of children forces ex-spouses to maintain cordial relations with each other. But the image of ex-spouses flying at each other's throats does not hold up. Ex-spouses just cannot stand each other. They are not bosom buddies.
Usually, exes become calm and serene when their own life post-divorce settles down. They tend to become forgiving when they have a good job, a new comfortable residence and a secure future. They are altruistic and do not hate the ex. They simply do not acknowledge his or her existence if not forced to.
This does not mean that they are hostile towards one another. They do not accord any importance to their ex in their life. The ex-spouse is just another acquaintance who has no influence on them.
Men Tend to Remarry More than Women: This myth is untrue. It exists only in general perception. Studies reveal that 19% of both men and women divorcers tend to remarry. The duration after which they remarry differs. Men tend to jump back into the dating arena soon after divorce. A longitudinal study to this effect shows that men tend to engage in physical encounters frequently post-divorce. Men tend to marry women similar in nature to their ex-spouse. They unconsciously seek younger versions of exes.
They tend to remarry after six months of divorce. In comparison, women divorcers are cautious. They also remarry. They tend to go back to dating after a year. They end up marrying socially and financially mature men after two years of divorce. They are content to date and wait. They are not eager to get married again soon after the divorce.
by: James Walsh
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